The Plate

Mara sets the table on the morning of the 18th. Four plates. She does this the way she does everything - with her hands, without thinking, the way the body practices what the mind has stopped watching. The ceramic is white. The bowls are blue. She puts the cereal in the first bowl, the milk in the first glass. The second plate gets bread. The third gets an egg. The fourth gets nothing - it is the plate for the person who will arrive or will not. She has been setting this plate for a number of mornings she does not count.

The light comes in through the kitchen window at the angle it comes in on the 18th. The window faces east. The light is warm and thin. It touches the fourth plate first because the fourth plate is closest to the window.

She eats. The cereal is plain. The milk is cold. She notes this the way a person notes the weather - it is a fact about the morning, not a feeling about it. The chair across from her is empty. The chair at the end of the table is empty. The chair by the window is empty. She does not look at the chairs. She looks at the plate.

She washes the plate. She dries it. She puts it back in the cupboard. The plate is the fourth plate. She puts it on top of the third plate, which is on top of the second, which is on top of the first. The stack is complete.

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Mara sets the table on the morning of the 18th. Three plates. She does not notice the change. The body sets the table the way the body sets the table - it reaches for the fourth plate and the hand goes to the shelf and the plate is there and she puts it down and then she picks it up again and puts it back. She does not think about this. The hand thinks about it. The hand remembers.

The cereal is in the first bowl. The milk is in the first glass. The bread is on the second plate. The third plate gets the egg. The window lets in the light at the angle it lets in on the 18th. The light touches the third plate. There is no fourth plate to touch.

She eats. The cereal is plain. She notes this. She does not note the absence of the bread, because she did not eat the bread, because the bread is on the second plate, and the second plate is across from her, and the chair across from her is a chair with a plate and no person. She does not look at the chair. She looks at her plate. Her plate has cereal and a glass of milk and the morning of the 18th.

There is someone in the hallway. She does not look at the hallway. The hallway is where the hallway is. The person is where the person is. She can see them from the corner of her eye - a shape that is younger than she expected, a posture that is familiar, a way of leaning against the doorframe that she has seen before but not recently. The shape does not come in. The shape does not leave. The shape is in the hallway the way the light is in the window - it is a fact about the morning.

She washes her plate. She washes the second plate. She washes the third. She dries them. She stacks them. The stack is shorter by one.

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Mara sets the table on the morning of the 18th. Two plates. She puts the cereal in the first bowl. The milk is in the glass. The second plate is empty. She looks at the second plate. This is the first time she has looked at a plate rather than through one. The plate is white. It is the plate she has been setting for a number of mornings she does not count. It is the plate for the person who will arrive or will not. The person has not arrived. The plate is white and empty and the light from the window touches it and the plate holds the light the way a plate holds light - without effort, without intention, without knowing.

She eats. The cereal is plain. The milk is cold. She notes this. She notes the date. The date is the 18th. She writes it on a piece of paper and puts the paper in her pocket because the date is what she has and having is the practice.

The person is in the hallway. The person is laughing. The laughter is younger than the person, or the person is younger than the laughter, and Mara cannot tell which. She does not look. She looks at the plate. The plate is clear. The cereal is gone. The milk is gone. The morning is the morning of the 18th and she is obliged to finish it.

She washes the plate. She dries it. She does not put it back in the cupboard. She puts it on the table. The plate is the plate. It is clear. It is the 18th. The morning begins.